Guy Walks Into A Bar Jokes

Get ready to chuckle as we dive into the timeless humor of "Guy Walks Into A Bar" jokes, where clever punchlines and unexpected twists turn a simple setup into comedy gold! (Ok, maybe not gold...)

A guy walks into a dive bar and orders a whiskey neat. Bartender says, "Neat? In this joint, you’re lucky if the glass ain’t still got lipstick on it."

A guy walks into a dive bar and asks for a craft IPA. Bartender smirks, "Kid, the only thing we craft here is excuses for what the smell is in the bathrooms.”

A guy walks into a dive bar wearing a three-piece suit. Bartender says, "Nice getup! You here for the dress code or just lost on your way to the courthouse?"

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "What’s that for?" Guy says, "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. Bartender says, “You can drink here, but don’t start anything."

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I’ll have a double." Bartender says, "Double what?" Guy says, "Double my chances of forgetting last night."

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Where’d you get that?" Parrot says, "Florida, they’re everywhere down there."

A guy walks into a bar and yells, "All lawyers are liars!" A man in the corner stands up and says, "I resent that!" Guy says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" Man says, "No, I’m a liar."

A guy walks into a bar carrying a ladder. Bartender asks, "Why the ladder?" Guy says, "Heard the drinks were on the house, so I came prepared."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign: "Free drinks if you can make our horse laugh." He walks over to the horse in the corner, whispers something, and the horse cracks up. Bartender’s amazed and says, "What’d you say?" Guy says, "I told him who I banged last night—he thought it was hilarious."

Send your Guy Walks Into A Bar joke to: johnnysdivebar@gmail.com